“How To Annoy the Staff at Dollar Tree” in “MAD” Magazine

“MAD” MAGAZINE ISSUE #535       https://www.madmagazine.com/issues

“Would You Like Beet Root With That?”

“WOULD YOU LIKE BEET ROOT WITH THAT?” By Alison Grambs “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO TURKEY???”  I have never sent an angrier text in my life. Ping! “We are having my famous Native American pumpkin chili,” Mother just texted back.  “You liked it last year.”   No.  I did not like it last year!   In fact, […]


“Shroud of Tamago” by Alison Grambs Last year, a few weeks before Christmas, a gnarly mole on my shoulder was deemed ‘highly suspicious’ by my dermatologist. Although the biopsy results weren’t in yet, I prepared for the worst. Death. Just two months shy of my fortieth birthday a growth the size of a peanut was […]


“TO THE FRUIT CART GUY ON MY CORNER” by Alison Grambs Dear Mr. Fruit Cart Guy On My Corner: I do not know how old you are. I do not know from what country you hail.   I do not know whether you are married or single, straight or gay. I do not know where […]

“Les Hamburgers in the City of Light and Strikes and Floods”

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Les Hamburgers in the City of Light and Strikes and Floods by Alison Grambs It was hard not to take it personally. The moment my mother and I stumbled off the plane onto Parisian soil this past June, the city was getting away from itself in a most unusual way. Too-close-for-comfort terrorism alerts were being […]

“Take Your Lunch Or I Will Gut You Like A Fish”- Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop

“Take Your Lunch Or I Will Gut You Like A Fish” by Alison Grambs   They say the secret to a happy marriage is communication. Well, tonight I am communicating with my husband through a note I have taped to the medicine chest in our bathroom.  It reads: Take your lunch or I will gut […]

“The Biker and the Flag” in the “NY Times”

Stories From A Stricken Land “The Biker and the Flag” by Alison Grambs To the Editor: I was waiting for the bus on East 57th Street on Wednesday evening, the day after the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. The city was eerily quiet, and I could find no reason to […]

“The Smart Girl’s Guide To Getting Even”- DAILY NEWS Excerpt

“The Smart Girl’s Guide To Getting Even” (Book Excerpt Featured in the “Daily News”)  By Alison Grambs If you spend too much time saying yes when you want to say no, do things you don’t want to do just to please your friends, and feel like a total pushover, then you need to follow the Smart […]

“To the Creep Who Pushed Me” in “Metropolitan Diary, NY Times”

To the Creep Who Pushed Me by Alison Grambs Dear Diary: To the Creep Who Pushed Me On the Street: You may think you won today. But you didn’t. You may think that you intimidated me with that glare you gave me as I sat stunned on the ground. But you didn’t. You may think […]

“Born to Ride, Not To Draw”

We took our new motorcycle out for its first official spin in Manhattan this week. Here is a souvenir sketch of our experience! DISCLAIMER: My husband just reviewed my sketch. He says that my artistic rendering of our new (old) Ural motorcycle is not at all ‘realistic‘… Something about how the ‘dimensions of the sidecar […]