“BORN TO RIDE, NOT TO DRAW”- by Alison Grambs

We took our new motorcycle out for its first official spin in Manhattan this week. Here is a souvenir sketch of our experience!

DISCLAIMER:

My husband just reviewed my sketch.

He says that my artistic rendering of our new (old) Ural motorcycle is not at allrealistic‘…

Something about how the ‘dimensions of the sidecar are completely off ‘ and there ‘appears to be no pavement whatsoever beneath the bike.’

He also says that…

My artistic rendering makes his neck look ‘freakishly absent’ when, in fact, he has ‘a terrifically present and well-defined’ neck in real life.

He also says that…

According to my artistic rendering, I traveled on our new old motorcycle with my head on the outside of the windshield rather than the inside of it which apparently qualifies as, ‘improper motorcycle passenger seating behavior’…a violation for which I should be ‘ticketed and drawn and quartered in accordance with the law…’

He also says that…

In this drawing of mine, his right kneecap ‘appears to be oddly disjointedand thereby, is an inarguable ‘mocking‘ of the knee surgery he had years ago which makes me ‘a mean wife‘.

He also says that…

‘failed to properly represent the ‘dimensions of the face shields and presence of built-in sunglasses’ on both our helmets, which, ‘by the way, Mean Wifey,’ do not look ‘at all DOT approved…”

He also says that…

The tire on the right side of the sidecar is ‘obscenely lopsided’ and, as such, would ‘never be approved during inspection’ and that he ‘resents‘ the implication that my picture implies thatsomeone’ forgot to adjust the air pressure in the tires ‘when, in fact, you know damn well I did all of that because I’m a mechanic.”

He also says that…

The city skyline in my drawing suggests that our new old bike is larger, ‘both vertically and horizontally’, than the Empire State Building…

To which I am now replying…

“That’s not supposed to be the Empire State Building, you IDIOT! It’s the Chrysler Building! Duh!”

A reply to which said Idiot is now replying with…

“We didn’t ride anywhere near the Chrysler Building, you Idiot! And you know that if you hadn’t been so busy fighting with that pigeon!”

To which I am now replying…

“Oooops.”

 

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